just bc i can doesn’t mean i should

damn dude, coming at you again with the hard-hitting life lessons! so here i am, late sunday morning, sitting on my bed waiting an hour to rinse out ketchup that’s supposedly going to tone the green out of my hair. (my mom and i tried to color my hair mint green but it came out looking not great so now we’re gonna try pink later today.) yes, you heard that correctly. ketchup. i’m kind of at a loss, if i’m honest. i feel somewhat dissociative today, but much less than yesterday. i’ve been getting really wrapped up in checking my email in the past day or so, too. it’s weird. i keep getting really tempted to buy everything i get emails of coupons for. i got an email with a free delivery code from postmates and i immediately opened the app to look at how much getting sushi delivered would be. the real kicker in all of this is that i literally just ate a bowl of cereal. someone stop me, please. i’ve been binging a lot of naruto, too, thanks to my boyfriend. it’s his favorite childhood anime and i want to be able to understand the references he makes. plus, it’s actually pretty good for a beginner anime (and i am very much a beginner when it comes to anime). but, i’m getting off track. this post is about self-control, of which i have none. literally zero. i see something, i want it, i get it. but the thing is, unlike ariana grande who is a millionaire and can afford to actually have all the things she wants, i am a 19-year-old human mess who can’t even afford rent most of the time. i got my tax return and got paid two days later, so i have (or had) a lot of money. compared to what i usually have, anyway. it’s making me itchy. like i just want to go out and buy literally everything. i need clothes and makeup, and i want to buy a new phone and a car and go out and get tattoos and piercings. i w a n t t o s p e n d a l l o f m y m o n e y. it’s really, really, really bad. but i’m working on it. sorry that this post is all over the place. i’m working on that, too:)

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