let me just begin by saying i warned everybody that i was awful at sticking with things. but also, i’m back and that’s all that matters. lately life has been ridiculously crazy. like literally only shit you see on TV or in movies. so busy, too. i’ve been in a massive funk, as have the people around me. i’m currently attempting to yank myself out of it with healthy coping mechanisms. i’ve gone hiking the past three days, and i intend to keep my streak going as the weather gets better. i’m going on a family trip with my boyfriend and his extended family down to the coast where i actually used to live; i know there won’t be an issue finding places to hike early in the morning.
i also have other exciting news. it’s a huge decision for me, but i’m finally ready to go back to school in the fall. i’ve recently rediscovered my passion for outdoor exploring (like hiking and foraging) and after some deliberation with the people in my life, have determined that i want to major in environmental conservation/science and minor in forestry to potentially become a park ranger or something to that extent. i am so incredibly excited about it-the community college here has a great program for it, too! i just renewed my FAFSA for next school year and applied for the school today, so we’ll have to wait and see how this goes.
i can’t wait to see where this chapter takes me. every day i’m imagining this future for myself, the happier i become. i know that i can do this, i know that i’m capable, and i’m incredibly motivated. the intention with this is to retain my motivation; it helps that the closest people in my life are all my number one fans:) i finally feel like now is the time to take this step forward and i finally feel like this is the niche for me to settle into. i could never get sick of learning about the outdoors and being out in it- i’ve always been a major adventurer when it comes down to it. i lost my love for it for a few years, thinking i had outgrown it. however, that is definitely not the case. i’m proud of myself for coming to that realization.
the future is still really scary for me, and right now i don’t exactly know how this is going to work out. i don’t know how i’ll even finance this other that FAFSA at this point since i’m currently only working part-time, all i know is that this is the right step for me right now. i’m trusting my gut and going with it for the first time in a very long time. it’s liberating, in a way. i definitely didn’t expect that initially but i guess it makes sense. i’m taking control of my life again, not just allowing the mess to make itself.